Marriage is one of those interesting journeys that you can never apply a band aid fix to. This specially applies to the handling of difficult conversations that you know you need to have but you can't really bring yourself to the place of the HOW. We get it, and while most marriage dynamics are different, we were able to identify some key things that will help you to handle these difficult conversations with minimal disputes.
The truth is marriage can be filled with lots of ups and happy moments. However, there comes a time when you will be faced with having hard conversations with your spouse. These conversations don't necessarily have to turn into a big argument or lead to a big disagreement as there are a few ways that you or your spouse can approach having hard conversations.
Here are 4 tips to help you have hard conversations in your marriage:
1. Be Respectful: Always remember that your spouse's voice and opinion matter, too. Once this is established, conversations will be made that much easier because of that mutual respect. Where it may go sideways, however, is if you acknowledge that they matter, but still do not give them the opportunity to share.
2. Choose the right time/place: There are so many times when the subject of the conversation is honestly not the big issue... but the timing. Is your spouse currently in a pensive mood? Did work not go too well on that day? Did the kids break something in the house which caused a lot of frustration? Are you currently together at a friend's house supporting them at a birthday party? So many factors can cause it to not be the right time. So, read the room before you try to have that conversation.
3. Actively listen to your spouse: Sometimes, these hard conversations can actually be had in bits and pieces versus one built-up conversation. If you make a real effort to listen to some of the things that are spoken in quiet moments, you'll actually hear how your spouse is feeling in relation to a certain matter. Listening can allow you to have smaller conversations, or even allow you to act on these concerns before it has to be a huge sit-down conversation. However, if it does get there, be sure to truly listen to what your spouse has to say.
4. Prepare to re-visit the topic or issue at hand: In many instances, it may be difficult to process some of the things being shared during these conversations, and so it should be understood that if your spouse needs to step away and process for a bit, it may be best. If your spouse's mind is not in the game based on the fact that they can't process something that was said, the conversation may not achieve what it was intended to achieve.
All in all, hard conversations can be tackled in many different ways, but we wanted to support you by equipping you with ideas to help your conversations to remain civil versus becoming huge blow-ups.
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